Sometimes I'm a little bit awkward...

I am not really that good at small talk, this is when I tend to say the awkward things to people. I am not sure what makes me think that I need to fill silence with random words but I do. For example, one night Ryan and I were eating out and we saw a couple that we knew. I had heard that she was pregnant so I asked her about it and she told me that she was due on Christmas day. So what do I say? "Oh, so you are going to have a werewolf?!?" Yes, you just read that right. But you can go back and read it again if you want to. I don't know why I said it. It just came out. I'm not even sure if that is true but I think I heard an old wives tale once that said babies born on Christmas were werewolves. Can anyone verify this? Dad, are you reading this? But even if it is an actual "old wives tale" that isn't even the point!! Who says that??? Normally when I say weird things Ryan at least gives me a courtesy laugh and then tries to direct the attention away from my awkward moment but even he couldn't help me.

So, because I am such a poor small talker I actually fear situations where small talk is going to be necessary. Another example: If I see someone I know in public, I immediately get anxious and turn bright red. It is not because I don't like them or I am embarrassed, it's because I am worried that I won't be able to come up with something meaningful to say. I have diagnosed myself with small talk anxiety disorder. I just can't do it. And if there is a time when I am actually being successful at "small talk" I go on and on for so long about random subjects that it actually becomes "long talk" and no longer falls under the category of "small talk" anymore. And those of you that know me, know that I am completely capable of "long talk." But even then, I think that I have a disorder because I will come away from a conversation and think, "Did I even let the other person say anything??" So if you have ever fallen victim to my small talk anxiety disorder or have ever been completely overwhelmed by a conversation you have had with me because I didn't let you get a word in edge-wise, I am sorry.

Yes, this is random...but at least I am blogging again.